The Crippled Canadian

So folks, as many of you know I used to be a huge wrestling fan. However, through the years, it has become quite boring and when you have two guys as your champions one who has been given pardon for lying about drug charges (which led to his demise eventually) and the other who has the personality of a toilet, you kind of say to yourself, this isn't working anymore.



At Wrestlemania XX at Madison Square Garden, two men who for some reason the wrestling world were clamoring to win the WWE title, and World Title did exactly just that. One was a man named Eddie Guerrero. He came from a wrestling family and followed in his father's footsteps and also was a huge stereotype of a typical Mexican. The other was a grim looking, boring, not much to him man who defeated HHH for his title. That man was Chris Benoit.


I remember when I was watching WCW World Wide Wrestling and the first time I saw him. He was nothing to me, but everyone thought he was the second coming of Bret "The Hitman" Hart. Benoit was being pushed and ended up in the most illustrious group in wrestling, the Four Horsemen. The Horsemen were of course known as the elite in the WCW and were feuding with a group known as the Dungeon of Doom. This stable was headed by a man named Kevin Sullivan. He was also booking matches behind the scenes. He booked his wife Nancy into an angle where she leaves him for Benoit. Unfortunately for Sullivan, sometimes fiction turns into fact, and Nancy Sullivan left Kevin to become Mrs. Chris Benoit in 2000.


Now the most exciting thing that Benoit did was win the WCW title only to throw it into the garbage and lead a walkout of WCW stars to join the WWE. Other than that, the guy was boring. Now if you asked me back then or even now, did I think this emotionless, plain, blank athlete would have committed one of the most heinous and senseless acts in my lifetime by killing his wife and child, I would have laughed at you.


Nevertheless the truth is no one is laughing here. We all know the story. Benoit and his family were found dead in their home early Monday morning and the WWE heard this, deeply saddened and shocked, decided to run a three hour tribute to the man and his family. An hour after the broadcast, evidence suggests that Benoit did the deed himself in the form of a murder suicide. Steroids are found, people think that had something to do with it. Blah, blah, blah. The most shocking notes from the case, Benoit sent text messages to wrestlers and told the WWE officials he wouldn't make a house show on Saturday and a pay per view on Sunday due to a family emergency. The decomposition of the bodies suggests they were sitting in the house over the weekend. All the other gory details.

The one question I have is what drives one to do these things. Is this man actually guilty? Some conspiracists on the web have pointed the finger to Kevin Sullivan. They claim that he is a high ranking member of the Satanic church and through the tool of revenge, killed Nancy and Daniel in front of Chris and they strung him up. (www.johnnyleeclary.com/benoitmurder) Interesting read but absolutely have found no evidence to back this up.


It is such a sad story and we have no idea what exactly happened. However, when those toxicology reports come out, I am sure the roids will be in there, and you will see the WWE run for cover. Why release a press release about steroids when all you see is speculation? When the time comes to defend yourself, you do. Don't put the cart in front of the horse Vinnie Mac.


Many people have died in crazy ways because of pro wrestling, but believe me, I don't think we will ever hear of something like this again. I will continue to follow the story hoping we see some resolution. The bottom line as it stands right now. Chris Benoit had many things in life that many of us would like. A stable income, a wonderful family, and a job that he loved. I can't believe someone would piss that all away in the worst way possible. Rest in peace Nancy and Daniel. I will not judge Chris, I will leave that to God.



JAE

Falling to Pieces

In 1997, the Chicago White Sox thought it would be a good idea to trade their starting pitchers for minor leaguers citing Jerry Reinsdorf’s convention wisdom, “there is no way we will catch Cleveland.” 3 ½ games back and two months of a season and there is no way they’ll catch Cleveland. As a Sox fan, pissed beyond belief when this happened, I shook it off knowing the Sox would make good in the future.
World Championship in 2005, rest is history.
Now it’s 2007. Ten years after the infamous “white flag” trade. The Sox well below 500, many of its players on the DL, and an offense that makes the Kansas City Royals and Washington Nationals look like All Stars. Ok maybe that’s a stretch but the point of the matter, White Sox baseball; quite painful to watch.
So ten years later, check out the scenario. 13 ½ games back, last in just about every statistic in baseball, and injuries plaguing the team. Guess what Jerry? In your own immortal words, “there’s no way we’ll catch Cleveland.” I can add Detroit in there this year and possibly even Minnesota. So where’s your flag now that’s sitting in closet from a decade ago? Now would be a good time to wave it and this time you can wave it proud with the Sox fan support, unlike last time.
First off, I am tired of listening to Kenny and Ozzie make excuses. I am tired of seeing Ozzie give chances to guys that don’t deserve him and then give us the “I don’t know what else to do” speech. The team’s dying a slow death, so what does the Kenny the brain do? He fires a scout and decides the Sox need a new advertising agency. Whoa, that’s going to show the rest of the teams in the Central, let alone baseball, you mean business. Ozzie sends down players only to bring them back up. He will never bench Uribe when Uribe continually screws up. It is a sad state when former Sox catcher Miguel Olivo is able to pick off not one but two Sox runners in one inning. I repeat, the catcher, not the pitcher, picked off two runners in one inning. It is sad when the AL rules baseball, the NL beats up on the White Sox and they are in danger of a sweep in the cell by who else, but the Cubbies.
Yet, Kenny Williams says he needs to see more before hitting the detonator on his desk.
Kenny face it, your team has died. Paul Konerko isn’t going to tell you that. You should be able to see it with your own two eyes. There is no spark, no swagger. The team has died. Now the question, what do the Sox do?
First off, I know it isn’t going to happen but Mark Buerhle needs to be resigned by the Sox. Reinsdorf isn’t know for long-term deals, but Mark has proven himself to be a face in the south side. He’s a left-handed picture who kicks ass. He helped win a World Series. He has a no hitter and would have had a few more victories after that if this team would have done its job and backed up the pitcher. Sign him Kenny. Don’t make the mistake of trading him for a surplus of younger talent. You can get at least four more years out of Buerhle easily. Don’t be stupid. Spend the money! We Sox fans want to see Mark Buerhle finish his season off in Chicago and see him plastered on left field with the rest of the legendary figures who have brought the legacy to the South side. Unless A-Rod is part of a deal with the Yankees, I don’t want to see Mark go anywhere. We need a third baseman that can play and not be injured. Or we can move A-Rod to where he is comfortable, at shortstop, keep Fields at third, dump Uribe if we can find a team that even wants him, and think about Joe Crede if and when he comes back.
While we’re on the subject of pitching, it’s quite a shame the starting pitching, one of the biggest question marks of the season has held up, where the pen and the offense have not. The Sox gave no fight what so ever to the Cubs this past week and I for one am saying the Cubs are very close to a sweep.
You know, Kenny can learn something from the Cubs here. What the Cubs did with Prior and Wood, it seems like the Sox are doing with Scott Podsednik. Kenny, in fact, said he didn’t want to do anything until he saw the team with Podsednik. I’m sorry, but Scotty Podsednik isn’t all that. It’s time for a new lead off man, and that man is sitting in Seattle and goes to free agency next year. I would try to find a way to obtain Ichiro Suzuki and he would be an awesome leadoff man. If the Sox don’t get him, my money is on the chumps on the north side due to the relationship with Pinella when he was calling the shots out there. Ichiro would help spark up this lackluster offense, and most likely would have a less chance of injury. Can you say that about Scotty Pods?
As far as Uribe goes, he has proven himself to be completely worthless since 2005. I hate that we always refer to 2005 when we talk about the Sox. Uribe has committed 8 errors, batting .214, can’t bunt, and is an alleged criminal back home. I was talking about getting A-Rod from NY, which is a stretch. When Ozuna gets back off the DL, this man needs to be a starter. I have been saying this about Ozuna for years. He is electric, and he can field. As well.
Will Kenny be able to sign the other free agents? Jermaine Dye and Tadahito Iguchi. He will most likely keep Guch but send Jermaine Dye to Elk Grove High School for some Grenadiers. But someone needs to go down for this season and those people are Greg Walker and Don Cooper.
The Yankees wanted Coop and I now say you can have him. For two years in a row this bullpen has looked like complete shit! Williams goes to the Royals for bullpen help because Coop says he can fix the arms. Aardsma hasn’t looked good lately either. And the batting coach is supposed to help the players hit the ball. The Sox are swinging at anything to just get on base. It is the hitting coach’s job to make sure that this doesn’t happen. Yeah Kenny firing a scout director and ad agency is going to make the team better.
There has been zero excitement in the South side since July 2006. This team has been sucking out loud since then and has yet to win a series since May 17th when they won the Yankee series. Sox fans are ready for a change for next year.
So Ozzie please stop making excuses and just do your best. You said a few weeks ago that we were going down having fun. There is no fun. And Kenny, you are not a genius. You are a GM who has gotten lucky in the past and you need to learn from some mistakes. Bottom line, the Sox will bounce back with or without the two of you and we can only hope as Sox fans that will be sooner rather than later.
JAE

Arriverderci

Let me start by saying fuck you David Chase, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.
This past weekend, the greatest series on TV ended and it was by far the best ending you could have hoped for. Grant it, I was pissed, like most of you were at first, but when you think about it, it is a ingenious ending.
People spent the last week talking about this ending. Some said it prompted them to cancel their subscription to HBO, while others took it to think of how it really ended. Did Tony die? Was the family massacred? Did Meadow double check her car was parked right? Did those onion rings taste good? Who was that crazy guy that went to the bathroom? The open-ended questions that leave us with no answers doesn’t set up for a movie, but with a debate that will never have an answer.
Was it a diabolical move by show creator David Chase? He says no, fans of the show say yes. Either way, Chase had you in his hand in the last ten minutes of that show and smacked you in the face with darkness. He let you in on the path that other characters on the show will follow. He let you see the family together one last time and…cut to black, no music. Silence!
Who was the one whacked? Tony, the family, or you? The movie goes on and on, as the song suggests. It is really whacked out that Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” is not the anthem for two of the biggest moments in my life watching events. The theme of the 2005 White Sox and the Sopranos finale.
I figured I would give my five favorite episodes of the show, and if you would like to do the same, feel free to e-mail me. No specific order.
5-I really love the first episode. Tony with the birds and you really get a sense of who he is and how troubled his life is. It is a great set up for the rest of the season.
4-The finale of season one. How all the events come down and how it all trickles into the domino effect that puts Tony in charge. You don’t know where puss went, Junior goes to jail, Tony gets to all the people who are trying to take him down, and he even goes after his own mother who is on the stretcher on the way into the hospital. Classic.
3-Love the poker game episode with Frank Sinatra Jr. I think that would be tied with the episode where Chris finds our Adriana is working with the feds. The set up for that is so Soprano like.
2-You have to love the one where Tony gets Ralph and you see the head go into the bowling bag. Christopher is so strung out during all of this and you see it through his eyes. Also remember when Tony goes to Gloria’s house to eat dinner and gets the steak thrown at his face realizing how crazy she is.
1-The season 2 finale where they shoot Big Pussy. You felt the pain of Tony, Paulie, and Sil but they had to do what they had to do. It was funny because this was reenacted in the last nine with Paulie and Tony. Everyone thought Tony was going to do away with Paulie.
There were many great moments in the show. I will miss the Sopranos and yes I know everyone and their mother thinks this is the setup for a movie. No way! The Sopranos are done and there is nothing we can do about it.
Famiglia del soprano di buona sera. Il dio di maggio li trasmette ad un posto piacevole alla fine.
JAE

Rock "Em, Sock 'Em

Roger Clemens, you ignorant slut!
But hey let’s be honest here, you can’t blame Roger Clemens here. You can blame the team who has helped contribute to our salary problems in baseball. The evil empire themselves, the New York Yankees.

Sure the Yankees want to win their 23rd or 24th or whatever number they are on championship. They don’t want to live in the sewer of the 2007 season, but is it really worth it as the price of destroying team chemistry. Clemens contract has many different stipulations. Forget about the $4 million per month he will make on this deal, he also has a clause where he doesn’t have to travel with the team. What kind of a stoner doesn’t want to travel with the team? Isn’t that part of the fun of going into baseball? The constant travel? He wants to spend more time with the family. Well Rogey Rog, maybe you should retire then.

Can one blame Clemens for this travesty? Not really. Once again the blame should shift to the Yankees. In the last paragraph, I talked about team chemistry. One player has already spoken out against Clemens. Kyle Farnsworth, who yes is what some may call a nobody, is nevertheless still a member of the Yankees. He disagrees with the contract and is bold enough to speak out about it. Could the players be keeping quiet under orders from Lord Steinbrenner?

The moral of the story here is that the Yankees are willing to do whatever it takes, well at least what they think, to win. They have spent God knows how much to keep Jeter, A-Rod, Damon, and Giambi on the team, but Giambi may not be an issue much longer. They have brought Andy Pettit back to the mound for another run, and in doing so, have enticed Roger Clemens to come back to the Bronx for one last run at another title. Will they come up short? Unless those pesky Red Sox who are starting to follow the philosophy of their enemy fall off the path, all this hoopla and hype over an over aged pitcher will be meaningless.

Can we say go fake Sox go? All together now.

By the way, on a couple side notes, sports related…

Back to Giambi. I can say I have some pseudo respect for this guy for speaking out against steroids. But for MLB and New York to come out and try to bury him whether it’s announcing the he failed an amphetamine test, or that Bud Selig wants him to talk to Senator George Mitchell, the leader of the performance enhancing witch hunt, you know this boy is under the wire now. Yes. I am well aware that he was going in front of a grand jury and all that stuff, but for him to say it in an interview a year after the session is pretty ballsy and yet admirable.

My White Sox have fallen and look like they can’t get up. Is it time to blow up the team? No not yet. I think we are playing a few clubs that are under 500 and could help open the window, while the Indians and Tigers get the Red Sox and the Braves. This could narrow the gap for when the Sox go against their Central division counterparts and we hope by then the sleeping giants wake up. Everyone says fire Ozzie. Ozzie is crazy and I don’t believe he has lost the team just yet. It may be coming soon, but Ozzie still has some fight left in him.

And on two final notes, I saw the Gwen Stefani concert last night. No not by choice, I took my girlfriend as a late Christmas present because we knew she would be going on tour this summer. She isn’t bad at all for a live act and I get the feeling she really loves her fans. She ran into the grass and did a song for them, which I have never seen anyone do before, and she signed autographs right on stage during the curtain call. Once I get a little better known and successful, I will know it will be because of all you who follow this column as well as all my other activities and I will do anything to show my appreciation for that. It seems Ms. Stefani hasn’t let the success get to her and is still human and for that I can say respect is due.

And the other, I am going to be a father in November. We are expecting!!! Look out world!!!! The Jae legacy will live on when I am gone!

JAE