The Firing Line

So hello everyone. Sorry gone for so long, but let’s get a crack a lacking here.

First off, to all you Cub fans. Take your little series win and shove it up your ass for all I care. The White Sox gave you guys game one of that series with their errors and wild pitches, while that damn D-Lee had his story book grand slam, so what! AJ showed you guys in Wrigley what a grand slam should look like, and I promise you, when the Cubs come to the Cell in June, it will be a different series. By the way, how is it the Cubs have all this offense and are under 500 and the Sox are in third place of their division and over 500. Hmmm. Could it be because Sox rule, and Cubs suck? Yeah, I thought so too.

The catfight America is buzzing about took place this week on everyone’s favorite laceration of estrogen the View. Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck sparred on, well…the same bullshit they always do, politics. Here are two women who don’t know shit about politics fighting with each other. I have shots for both of them. First Elisabeth, you say you like facts, OK here’s some facts for you. You suck on TV. You’re a reality show star, who am I kidding, you didn’t too well on Survivor, that somehow got lucky enough to get a gig on ABC, and married a quarterback of a failing football team. The fact you would even give someone like Rosie O’Donnell the time of day whether wearing a watch or not is just ridiculous. And Rosie, you are going to sit here and cry that Elisabeth didn’t defend your comments about Iraq to her “conservative friends.” Why in the hell should she? You’re a big girl, stand up for yourself. You want to make controversial comments, then get ready to defend them. Besides if you are friends with someone “since September”, and have done nothing but tried to break them down on a weekly basis, do you really expect the twit to stand up for you? Bottom line, Mr. Donald Trump is correct on both fronts. Rosie is a repulsive bully, and Elisabeth is the dumbest person on TV.

Jason Giambi made a statement to USA Today and I quote, "What we should have done a long time ago was stand up -- players, ownership, everybody -- and said: 'We made a mistake, we should have apologized back then and made sure we had a rule in place and gone forward. ... Steroids and all of that was a part of history. But it was a topic that everybody wanted to avoid. Nobody wanted to talk about it." Very admirable Giamjuice. It is a shame that MLB doesn’t follow your lead. Barry Bonds is getting closer and closer to 755, and many are split whether to celebrate this event. Some argue he was juiced up, doesn’t deserve it and all that jazz. Others say that Bonds is one of the best players of all time, and he would have broken the record either way. My opinion? I think that Bonds is an asshole and I don’t believe he should have the credit, but he is breaking a record nevertheless. One we can only hope A-Rod or someone else shatters in a few years.

Comparing Lebron to Jordan is a joke. What is up with ESPN and shit? Last year it was D-Wade and now this year it’s Lebron James. Note to ESPN, NOONE CAN COMPARE TO MICHAEL JORDAN!!!! So let MJ the first be MJ, and everyone be themselves.
Paris Hilton is going to get out of jail early for good behavior. How does that happen? How does someone who didn’t even make it to jail gets time out for good behavior? What is she thinks jail is another episode of the Simple Life and fucks it up? What then? Morons.

So at the Lake in the Hills theatre, there is only three movies playing this week. Spiderman 3, Shrek the Third, and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. All three movies are the third of each of their respected series and there are only three movies at the theatre. Spooky huh? The three movies are doing battle at the box office for summer supremacy. This is like the Three Stooges getting in the octagon.
Opie and Anthony get suspended from XM. XM, an uncensored service, but CBS radio keeps them around after launching Imus for saying something much tamer? That would be the asinine story of the month of May.

Avril Lavigne may have beat Nine Inch Nails for sales when Year Zero was released, but did you hear some of the bullshit she is singing about? Sucky crap, sucky album, sucky Avril as usual. Here she tries to call out other artists for “selling out” and look at her. The poster girl for posers all over America. You may have won the war for sales, but NIN has you slaughtered as far as quality goes. Although labels will disagree with me, quality should be before quantity when it comes to music.
And finally, my buddy Danny Wow, sports guy from the mJp morning show at WRLR has landed a gig in Oklahoma on their morning show. Good luck to him and I hope it goes well.

I am looking for people to help us with various things for THE POINT. Let me know if you are interested.

JAE (MJ the second)

Poor Poor Paris

Hello and welcome to the journal. Sorry I am running behind but with building the new website, my new gig with Libby at WKRS, and trying to figure out what the next episode of the mJp is, I forgot all about a journal for a couple weeks. You guys know how I can get sometimes so please be gentle.

Paris Hilton going to jail. I love it. It could be a movie. It could be a comedy, horror, cult classic, or even a porn. Can you imagine a prison rape scene with Paris? Three big girls get tiny little Paris and have their way with her. I wonder what Paris is going to look like in a jumpsuit.

All kidding aside, Paris going to jail is like everyone going to Jamaica. It would be a nice vacation, BUT you know entertainment shows, cable news, and everyone will be talking about Paris in jail for a long time. Maybe it is because of the star power she has without doing a single thing. Maybe it’s because she is the heiress to one of the biggest hotel chains in the world. Maybe she is so loved/hated by many so it makes for interesting coffee talk.

Look Paris Hilton is a person. Nothing more, nothing less. Why anyone would give a shit if this bitch went to jail is beyond me? But OK, I’ll play. Paris Hilton committed a crime. A HUGE CRIME that many people die for in this country. She got a DUI. You would think that this would straighten her out a little, but no. She goes and drives on her suspended license, which usually is the footnote to the DUI. Her excuse, my people didn’t tell me about the suspension.

Well Paris, I bet your people didn’t tell you that there was a party in the hills two weeks ago, but I bet you were there. I bet your people didn’t tell you that when people film sex, it usually goes for sale. How about this you coochy little ho, take responsibility with your life since you’re an adult and figure a couple of things out for yourself. Like your bills, your violations, the number of guys you date in a month, whatever. You need to know what you are doing in this life because as I said earlier, you are a human being, and for you my love, I use that term very, very loosely.

Paris Hilton has a history of getting into trouble and not suffering any consequences. Maybe not always legally but in one particular incident, Paris saw her DVD at a news stand and stole all the copies and when face to face with a judge, she was let off. Why? If you or I did that, we would have some consequence. Why in the hell does she get away with it?

And now this arrogant little bitch wants to write her petition to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to “pardon her for her mistake.” First of all, the fuck can’t even spell correctly. I.E. “My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn.” What the hell is that moron? Sign is spelled sign, not sihn. Dumb ass. It also says, “We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong.” Hello, Paris the celebrity and so called role model should be setting a good example. If I had someone close to me die of a drunken driving accident, I would be appalled by her request. OK many people get arrested for DUI everyday, but because “I’m Paris and I’m so special, I should get a free pass.” BULLSHIT! No free pass for you, you used piece of yeast infection. You are the example. In fact, if I have a daughter, I will do everything in my power to see to it she is nothing like you. You should be happy you are going to jail, and that you are being made an example of. You are now finally doing something positive with your life and your dare I say career. Yes, in this worthless, desperate plea to the governor she says she would like to get back to her career. What exactly is that Paris? Valet parking?

However the thing that really makes me sick and that her legions of fans who for the most part are probably useless sluts themselves that worship Paris as their poster girl, is that people are saying “people get house arrest for much worse.” Paris Hilton committed a crime. She drove drunk. She got busted, and she said fuck you to the law, and decided she would drive, and then when she got caught, she uses this bullshit I didn’t know excuse. It is completely irresponsible. You are 26 year old, and as an adult, be responsible.

That’s all I got for now. Peace.
MJ