March 31, 2005 (The Schiavo Factor)

Hello friends. Welcome to the Journal. On June 9, 1999, my mother passed away. She was kept alive by machines for 11 days, and my family decided that day, it was time to end her suffering since that is the way my mother would want it. She did not want to live her life as a vegetable. I thought she might have a chance, but my family was set on the fact she was not going to come back as the woman we loved. In my heart from time to time, I wonder what if. My girlfriend says she felt my mother squeeze her hand, but she was not waking up. It is a day that is very difficult for me to talk about, and it was a day that changed the way life was forever.

Fast forward to today, a woman named Terri Schiavo, who has been in this condition for quite a while has died today. She spent 13 days off a feeding tube after her husband had it removed saying that Terri wanted it that way. Her parents fought and involved judges, which then brought in right wing conservatives fighting for the cause to keep her alive. Even while she was starving and decomposing, Florida governor Jeb Bush was interjecting himself into a matter that he had no business getting involved in.

There is no question about the fact Michael Schiavo has questionable motives for his actions. He is with Jodi Centonze and hooked up with her five years after Terri suffered her horrific accident. The Schindler family (that would be Terri’s immediate family) is charging that Michael strangled her and during that period, 14 minutes of oxygen that was meant to go to her brain was cut off. There is no proof of this, but it makes one question why Michael would go through such lengths to end the tragic life of his wife. Maybe he wants to officially end the marriage without divorce, since he is a devout Catholic. Maybe he wants to adhere to Terri’s wishes. Just like the mystery of how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop, the world will never know.

Here is a good question; Terri has been in this state for many years, why didn’t Michael come forward with this in the beginning? Why not cut her off right away? If doctors are saying there is no chance for improvement, why wait? Question number two, if the Schindler family say that Michael was an evil as he says, then why keep it quiet until the cameras turn on? Perhaps the Schindlers wanted to blame, and Michael was convenient. Michael tried to be the good husband by taking Terri to all the places she loved in her wheelchair, but what happened behind closed doors before the accident?

You see the whole Terri Schiavo case to me goes well beyond the case of right to life vs. right to die. I believe that there are two important parts to the puzzle on this case. I believe that the first part affects us who have had to make this difficult decision, and the second involves us as a whole.

First, let’s talk about the Pandora’s box theory. When my mother died, you would not believe all the drama that was associated with my family. Money was at stake, an ailing mother needed to be cared for, and many big decisions had to be made. When someone in your life dies, you really get to see the dark side of the moon when it comes to problems. People tried to vilify other people in my family, lots of mud was thrown, and me being the idiotic peacekeeper in the mess, I got caught in the crossfire. I was told many things from both sides, and some made sense at the time, and some didn’t. However, when the truth reared its ugly head, it was a very hard for me to deal with and showed me the true ugliness of people. I vowed not to give people chances after that. I think we find out many truths and fictions associated with people we care about who have passed away come out, and then sometimes we find out things about people who are still alive. Could that be a coping mechanism for the Schindler’s by talking about the abuse in the relationship between Michael and Terri? I am sure many of you reading this know what I am talking about. When it comes to making decisions like this, it is never a good time, and the media circus that surrounded this event I found offensive, and listening to right wing conservatives who don’t know a good bill from their asshole give their medical opinion of her condition based of a videotape released in 2001, made me want to puke.

This brings me to point number two. When is our government going to stop interjecting themselves in situations that do not involve them? Someone flashes their tit on camera for half a second, and the government believes that our moral system is flawed and decides to push their beliefs about good programming down our throat, a terrorist attack happens on our homeland, and now everyone who is a little weird is a suspect. If we question our President’s decisions, we are branded a traitor or become “Dixie Chicked” as Bill Maher puts it. Free thinking I guess is a dangerous thing. Someone told me that I was an unmerciful, evil person because I said they should have found a way to end her suffering, rather than make her suffer more by removing the feeding tube and just keep her lying there. Why does President Bush have to comment on this matter? What the hell is going on here? Don’t people have time away to live their lives without government breathing down our necks?

This is a private family matter that neither the government nor the media should have been involved in. I believe that the Schindlers and Michael Schiavo should have turned away the media and did everything behind closed doors. They fueled the fire and insanity of this craziness by inviting everyone in. I will not judge either one of them for doing what they felt they had to do, but I will say for the fact they got the media involved is just sad. A woman’s right to live is not a newsworthy topic. What about the millions of other people who go through this ordeal? Should they be the top story on World News Tonight too? The Schindlers say this is a sad day for America. I’m sorry but Terri’s death is not what makes this a sad day in America, it is a sad day in America when a story like this is the top story.

Sorry to be so serious this week, but I had to address this subject. Read next week where I will be back to my fun filled crazy ass self. And by the way, go Illini!!!! Go Bulls; they’re doing well too. And yeah, go White Sox. They start season next week and I will be there. And to the Cubs, keep on sucking losers!

MJ

March 23, 2005 (Stray Bullets)

Welcome to the Journal this week. So much to talk about in so little time so instead of tackling one issue, I am going to shoot on many different ones going on right now. This should be a fun filled read so get ready, get set, go mother fucker.

First off, what’s up with Condoleezza Rice hugging a sumo wrestler? That dude would break her in half. As a trick, maybe the Ambassador of Japan could push him over and say, ”revenge for Hiroshima bitch.”

Speaking about revenge, isn’t the gun thing getting out of hand again? First Judge Joan Lefkow’s family is shot dead, then the preacher in Gurnee being gunned down during a service at a hotel in Brookfield, WI; and now this past week, a huge shootout in an Atlanta courthouse. What is up with our country? Has it come to the point we just shoot people we are mad at? So much for the moral values of the United States. By the way, most of these people were devout Christians. I think God needs to come down here and have a word with some his radical followers. No drinking, no guns, and no more court.

Michael Jackson, what a clown. What asshole comes to court in his pajamas? I know that the boy was there and he could have easy access, if you know what I mean. But really, what asshole comes to court in his pajamas?

In beautiful Chicago Heights, a boy happened to found bags of crack in his house (that belonged to Mom) and gave them to his friends as “presents.” The poor boy thought they were candies. I know that they go crackle and pop, but these my friends are not Pop Rocks. Rumor has it; the kid is going to bring in a Glass Dick for show and tell.

Speaking about drugs, I would like to say Mark Mcgwire, go fuck yourself. You and Sammy Sosa should have a new contest. Let’s see who can swallow the most loads for the 2005 baseball season. After all, you made the American people swallow a boatload of bullshit when you guys were doing that home run derby. “I don’t want to focus on the past, I just want to help with the present,” says the bitch. You are not making yourself look innocent here buddy. Just stupid. And as far as Sammy goes with that interpreter, I didn’t see Sammy have any problems with his English when he was bashing on Chicago media and Dusty Baker last year. Plus, where was the damn language barrier when the corked bat incident happened?

Kirstie Alley’s new show has to be the most moronic thing since Anna Nicole Smith. Can you imagine a porno with those two? It could be called The Fat Actress and Her Special Friend, and Trimspa can sponsor it. Imagine that, with every purchase of Trimspa, you can enter to win to be in a sandwich between Anna Nicole and Kirstie Alley. She’ll slurp you up like a piece of fettuccine.

Lil' Kim is going to jail. Boo hoo. Isn’t enough that one needs a bulletproof vest if they want to attend the Source awards? It is funny that Hot 97, the station where Kim and her Junior M.A.F.I.A. homies had their run in with Capone N Noreaga when shots were fired is the home to the shootout involving 50 cent and the Game, which just took place not too long ago. I have an idea for a sweeper here. “HOT 97, we keep the hits coming, right outside our door.” Let me get back on topic. Lil’ Kim can be called, Liar Kim. She cried about her relationship with Notorious B.I.G. It makes me laugh because everyone wants to get their rocks off talking about how they knew Biggie and they think this gets them a pass to fame. If you don’t believe me, ask P. Diddy.
And finally, my thoughts on the Terri Schiavo case. It is a sad day when the government has to step in to make a decision about a right to die case. Don’t we have anything better to do, like find a new country to invade in the name of democracy? Don’t we have a deficit to fix? I guess this goes back to that moral and value issue that won the Republicans the race in the first place. I believe if Schiavo’s wishes were not to keep her alive to her husband, that should be good enough. I am not one for pulling the plug, but I am one for respecting the wishes of the people I loved. If we are going to remove the feeding, pull the plug already. Why should she have to suffer like that? The husband should know that the government will try to win and he shouldn’t make her suffer like that. Continue feeding until the time comes to make a decision. I think this is bullshit, and the government has no place in this mess.

To all you who voted due to the values shit, don’t confuse moral, values, and integrity with keeping you all stupid for the master plan. Cleanse America’s right to think, and make each and every of you as apathetic as possible. Question us, and you will fall. Come up with a new Patriot Act and we can get to you whenever we want. And the best part, it’s legal too. Let us systematically censor all the things you like to watch or listen to, while many of you in the Bible belt support the cause. Welcome to America 2005. God bless America? If he really wanted to bless us, would things have gone this far? While courtrooms being shot up in a blaze of infamy, people who are considered icons on trial for making children drinking “Jesus Juice” among other things, while athletes just get the juice, and ask Jesus for forgiveness. Kids bringing crack to school, while judge’s families are at risk because their relatives are putting away criminals. Morons featured on TV being morons, and rappers shooting themselves at the same radio station. And to put the cherry on the sundae, the government is telling a family that they have no right to respect the wishes of someone who is dying. I hope Terri Schiavo somehow finds peace during this ordeal.

At this time, I would like to go back to my first paragraph here. We are Condi, and the absurdities of the way we live our lives is that sumo wrestler. If the wrestler fell on Condi, do you think she would have a chance? She may survive, but she would have to fight like hell to do so. Is America ready to fight like hell to save her life?

Yours truly,
MJ

P.S. Happy Easter!!!! Whoo hoo!!!! Go Jesus go!!!!!

March 14, 2005 (The Mockery of Martha)

Hello peoples, let me start of by saying, I am pissed off and ashamed of our media once again. Although, I work in different places in the media, I cannot always say I approve of what they do. I believe doing huge pieces on Martha Stewart getting out of jail was a complete travesty, and with great luck one of these days Stewart will either go back to jail, or get run over by a prison bus.

This is a criminal. Stewart was someone who capitalized on a situation where she could save a shitload of money. I can’t believe we are celebrating the homecoming of this bitch like she just won the fucking Superbowl. True, insider trading is sort of a mundane charge. I feel if someone hears that something is going to tank their stock, they should take advantage, but it is against the law. And that homemaking cunt broke the law. She lied to the government and was charged with obstruction of justice. These are serious charges my friends. In fact they are felonies, and once again like it happens so much in this beautiful land of ours, the rich walk free while common people hit the trials and tribulations of that of reality. If this were you or me, we would be facing five years in prison for sure. She gets five months in Cape Cupcake. She can shove a cupcake in her twat for all I care. Now she gets five months house arrest with her bracelet on her fat ankle. The same ankle we got to see during the press conference when some cameraman was drinking on the job at CNN.

Now with house arrest, Stewart gets to work 40 hours a week and go to the grocery store. Funny, I would think she would have one of her people do her food shopping so she can make another stupid ass concoction for her excuse of a show. So basically she is not getting any punishment at all. She gets to play at her huge ass mansion with all her horses and other toys. She gets to still do business to make up for huge lost that Martha Stewart Everyday has been struck with. I personally think that we as an American public should boycott all of her products. Force her into bankruptcy five times over. Cripple her financially.

“I thank you all, you are all my heroes,” she said during her victory speech when she got out of jail. Yeah, heroes she probably yelled at and downgraded for years. Then as a big kicker, she talks about a present someone gave her from the inside. And this wasn’t a nice big pole up her ass either. This was a poncho made by a friend inside. She doesn’t give the prisoner credit. If she did, this prisoner could make ponchos for a living behind bars and she could have the same chance of victory that Martha did. But no, what does Martha do? She gives away the pattern on the Internet for free to make herself look good, and raise her personal stock. Oh boy, Martha you are such a sweetie. You’re as sweet as a herpes patient’s genitals.

And then what happens, that idiot Mark Burnett and Donald Trump want to create a spin off of the Apprentice based on Martha Stewart because they know it will be a huge cash cow. OK, let’s give the thief more credibility now. Hell, let’s elect her President. Why don’t we give her all our money while she tells us how to make a nice chocolate tart? What will be next for Martha? Maybe she can go hit someone with her Mercedes and get probation next time. Maybe she can go shoplift from that grocery store so she can do community service, a job she should be doing as a CEO of a huge corporation.

Bottom line, accountability needs to be accessed. Stewart has not done her time, and most likely never will. It is up to people to stand up and say, what the fuck? Michael Jackson will not be in jail, what the fuck? OJ Simpson walks on murder, what the fuck? Paris Hilton steals a DVD, and all charges are dropped, what the fuck? Is it just me, or is this vicious circle of life going to continue until the day we die?

Oh well, Happy St. Patty’s day. Drink a Guinness for me because I hate that shit.

MJ

March 9, 2005 (Hit the Road Dan)

Good evening. This is the Jae Journal. I’m Michael Jae. Dan Rather’s last broadcast on CBS is today, and many people have mixed feelings about him making his exit.
“If you aren't against Rather, that means you're for him, which has become like supporting Saddam Hussein in some people's minds,” says Tom Dorsey of the Louisville Courier Journal.
“Dan, let me be the one guy rude enough to tell you that you won’t be missed,” Jim Geraghty on National Review.
“A lot of people within CBS News - and outside CBS News - are angry about how the Bush story developed and was handled," said Sandy Socolow, former executive producer of the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather.(1)
"Quite frankly, although Dan did a fine job, I would like to have seen Bob Schieffer (Rather’s replacement) there a long time ago," said Walter Cronkite, the man who Rather replaced back in 1981.

No matter how you slice it, Dan Rather sucks.

It will be a joyous day so write it down on your calendar, March 9th, 2005, the day the douche bag of evening news took a hike to 60 Minutes to do what he wanted to do all along according to some accounts, be a journalist first, anchor second. Now correct me if I am wrong, isn’t that the place where we saw the scandal that rocked news as we know it? Why doesn’t he just go away? Is he on crack?

I guess it’s true when they say, once you find yourself entrenched in a career, it gets in your blood. Well, Rather I say you need a transfusion. You broke the number one rule of journalism, you did not check your facts. You’ve been in the business for so long, and you can’t do that. What’s wrong with you? Oh I’m sorry. You are a fucking liberal. My bad.

It’s people like Dan Rather who give credence to many of the conservative talking heads complaints about the liberal news media. They bitch and moan about how coverage is slanted towards the left, and this does give that some validity. However, who’s to say it’s only swinging that way? Do you see the news covering the gross details about how many human lives have been taken in Iraq? I am talking about both Soldiers and Iraqis. How dare the right talk about news being manipulated when many of them work at that GW factory known as Fox News Channel.

With the exception of O’Reilly, most of the people at Fox support the Republicans. Yes O’Reilly leans more towards that way, but this man apologized on network TV about how he rallied for the cause of the mystery WMDs. I felt he gave a heartfelt apology, not like that piece of crap Rather did when the jig was up on the documents regarding GW. What’s more, there have been times where the “Factor” has criticized the President. I wasn’t a big fan of his when I first started watching him, but he has grown on me.

The problem with many people on the left is that they will use anything to destroy the President. Rather is a great example. You’re a journalist dude, not a critic. A journalist reports, a critic criticizes. Know the difference, punk. When you have facts that you can support, then you fire the smoking gun. Until then, research, research, research. Many people do this. Aim first, fire second.

Rather has quite a history. When Nixon was in office, Rather went to ask a question and was applauded, Nixon asked if he was running for something, and Danny boy responded with “no are you?” He jumped the gun on the 2000 election being the first network to declare Al Gore the winner of the presidency. And then the man is a whack job as well. He walked of the set of the Evening News in 1987 because the U.S. Open delayed the start of the news stating only Republicans watch Tennis. A year before that, he was mugged saying that the attacker asked him “What’s the Frequency Kenneth?” (By the way, the R.E.M. song from the 1994 album Monster is inspired by this incident.) Yep, Dan Rather for all intensive purposes has his issues, but you do have do respect the fact he did things his way. I didn’t like him on the news, and thought he was arrogant, but I respect that he believed in something. I think that he went about things the wrong way though. He needed to use his head. Don’t become a journalist if you feel strongly about issues, become a talk show host.

So now we look at the evening news for the big 3. Tom Brokaw being replaced by Brian Williams at NBC, Rather replaced by Schieffer; that only leaves Peter Jennings at ABC. For the record, Jennings is the one my family watched growing up, and that’s whom I watch now. I don’t know why. Personally, I think network news is all the same. A happy go lucky old fuck sitting behind a teleprompter, reading to you like you were a 5 year old boy ready to go to sleep, splice in some sound bites, throw in your commercials, and hey, you have a newscast. Woo hoo. Dan Rather’s exit from the 5:30pm slot (that’s Chicago time kiddies) is not going to change the news one bit. If anything, it will improve CBS’s chance at becoming a credible source again.

We live in a day an age where others suppress people’s opinions; where reporters who go into war zones with a shitty web cam are considered brave but not stupid. Where we don’t know both sides of the story, we only get the one that matters. The one that makes us feel better and safer as a nation. They say no news is good news, and in this time, that saying may have never had more validity in its life than right now. We should be more concerned about which way this planet is spinning because some arrogant, know it all fucks hold all the keys to very lethal objects that can kill us all, we should be more concerned about how the American economy is being brought down to its knees faster than Jenna Jameson in some porn movie, we should be concerned about the fact the way children are being raised is not healthy. Parents should be making decisions of that subject based on life experiences, not what TV or government says. Instead of worrying about these important items, we worry about when Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards porn video is coming out (since they are divorced now), who has Paris Hilton’s phone number now because let’s face it, I am sure the world has it. And as Richard Roeper of the Sun Times put it, “worrying about Mischa Barton sneezing.” That show sucks and maybe she does too. I don’t know. This is America and how we do things. We are the walking dead, and we don’t have all the facts regarding anything important in this country. God Bless America? I think exorcism needs to be put in front of the blessing if you ask me.

Thanks for reading my shit,
MJ

March 1, 2004 (Million Dollar Thieves)

Hey peoples, what’s a crack a lacking?

So last week we talked about the Oscars beforehand, and now let’s talk about them afterward.
First, let’s go directly for Chris Rock. He was funny, but could have been a little more edgy, but as he put it “I was working for someone that day. If you want to see me cross the line, go to the Chris Rock show.” True, which pretty much proved my point from last week. Chris Rock is a responsible adult who knows when to fuck around and when not to, and much to the chagrin of all those conservatives, behaved himself. I would like to say does everyone in the world want to see Sean Penn play in traffic as much as I would? Does this monkeyfuck have a sense of humor? “Duh I would like to remind our host who Jude Law is. He is a fine actor.” Yes, unlike you, you tight ass prick. Penn was referring to the comment that Rock made when he said “Jude Law is in all these movies” after saying if you want Tom Cruise, but you can only get Jude Law; wait to make your movie. Isn’t it bad enough we gave the prick (Penn) an Oscar? This guy bitched and moaned that Matt Stone and Trey Parker were unfairly bashing on him in “Team America: World Police.” Fuck him. You should be happy that no one grabs you by your throat and drops you off the roof of the Kodak Theatre headfirst. He is such a crying little prick.

In other news, the guy who won the award for the Motorcycle Diaries did his whole acceptance speech in Spanish. Look fucker, you are in America, speak English on TV. For all we know, he could have said, “you stupid ass people watching this show most likely just jerked yourselves off and ate it.” I believe everyone has a right to speak his or her native tongue, but when you are on an American show, you should speak a language everyone understands. Yes I know, it broadcast all over the world. Do you think France, Germany, or Russia understood what he said? Yeah that was out of line sir.

Beyonce kept popping up, and unfortunately for many males, did not pop out. She was wearing really bad eye makeup too. Could the academy not pick gayer songs? From The Phantom of the Opera, they took some stupid song no one has heard. Music of the Night is the best song on that soundtrack. That would have been cool. Three words for Antonio Banderas, take a shower. He looked really scummy for an award show. Beyonce was singing in French too. Like wow, that was so cultural. Please spare us from any other bullshit antics during an award show again. Oh wait, I am talking about the Oscars here. After all, one of the nominees fell asleep during one of the short film awards.

Renee Zellwegger looked like what the Bride of Frankenstein would look like if it were a modern version and if she was a mermaid. God, she looked bad. She also sounded really goofy like she was on something. Maybe it’s Trimspa! Thanks God that stupid bitch Anna Nicole Smith wasn’t on. That would have been tragic. Then again, maybe bringing the stupid drunk fat gold digging bitch would have added some flavor to a dull show.

Then there was the robbery. The stupid ass Million Dollar baby dominating the show. First off, I was rooting for the Aviator. I liked the movie and Scorsese directed it. The man gets snubbed every year and he has made timeless classics like Goodfellas, Casino, Gangs of New York, Taxi Driver, the list goes on and on. What has Clint Eastwood done except point a gun at someone and say “go ahead, make my day.”

Yes Eastwood is talented, yes he does good work, but by God give Marty the award. He has been doing this a lot longer and Aviator was better than baby. Morgan Freeman only won that award for sympathy. How many more movies can Freeman narrate when he is the supporting character who is the voice of reason? He plays the same fucking character in every movie. I feel like Freeman is on a time machine and just keeps getting dropped off in some certain time where he has to explain to everyone watching what is happening. And then there is Hillary Skank, whoops I mean Swank. She laid in bed half the movie. Oh yeah, that’s talent. Usually that is reserved for porn stars. Shall we give Jenna Jameson an Oscar now?

I admire Swank’s story of woe and rags to riches, but that does not mean she should win an award that Annette Benning should have won. Benning lost to Swank before and that one was legitimate. Although I love American Beauty, Swank did well in Boys Don’t Cry, but in this movie it wasn’t hard for her to act because the character is very close to her. She plays a hick in almost every movie she was in. What’s so hard about playing the same character you play in almost every movie? The Million Dollar Baby should be renamed to “Ten Cent Skank.”

Jamie Foxx winning was cool and same with Cate Blanchet. Aviator should have one best picture though. Then again, it is only an awards show where everyone wears nice clothes just so they can get drunk and rip them off later. The Oscars are stupid. Who gives a fuck now? They are all done. Tune in next year to watch Michael Jae win an Oscar called The Silence of the Stars.

Your good friend,
MJ