November 23, 2004 (sports)

Hello and welcome to the Journal. I am so happy to be writing for J Street again. This time around I am going to stay on one topic, because this is really bothering me.

I feel that sports have become ugly. It is really childish when in one year; three major brawls during sporting games have erupted. Two that involve fans.

I remember back earlier in the year when Texas Rangers relief pitcher Frank Francisco threw a chair which resulted in hitting a woman in the face. When I saw this on the news, I was shocked and wanted to immediately fly to Oakland and hit Francisco in the face. This was completely inexcusable, and the minute the players involve fans, it becomes very much personal.

Yes, I know. Us Sox fans can be guilty of reversing that with the William Ligue/Tom Gamboa incident back in 2001. When Ligue and his son who was most likely smoking lots of pot with his father attacked the Royals first baseball coach, who has been crying like a bitch for a long time about the “slap on the wrist” that Ligue received for running onto the field at the Cell and attacking Gamboa. However, a pattern has been established here. A disintegration of the fan/player relationship.

Ask anyone’s parents or grandparents, and they will tell you about the glory days of sports. Where athletes were more or less like regular people just trying to make a buck to survive. They would adore their fans and even stay after the game and sign autographs, take pictures, and yada yada yada. (Sorry had to throw a Seinfeld reference somewhere this week since they are all over the damn TV) Now these days, many of these athletes don’t give two shits about the fans that cheer them on.

You can look at Sammy Sosa as being one of the guiltiest parties in this regard. Never in my life have I ever heard of anyone walking out of a game fifteen minutes into it. Kudos to Kerry Wood for destroying his radio. Sosa says over and over again “baseball has been good to me.” So when are you going to be good to baseball you miserable fuck?

Another case of this would be Latrell Sprewell from the Minnesota Timberwolves. He was so pissed off that he was going to be paid $7 million a year he said, “I led the T-Wolves to the conference finals, why would I want to do that again when I have a family to feed?” You know what you son of a bitch, some people out there don’t make enough money to feed their families and live day to day. Be grateful you have a talent where you can ask for an obscene amount of money like that.

And as we look at the Ron Artest incident, which took place over the weekend, this stemmed from a stupid drunk fan throwing a cup at him in Detroit. Yes, the fan shouldn't do that, but that does not give Artest the right to go into the crowd and start swinging at whomever he sees first. He actually biffed one fan square dead in the face. Good for the NBA suspending him for the season.

Basketball players annoy me the most because I look back in the 80’s and 90’s as we saw legends like Jordan, Bird, Johnson, light up the court with magical shots and what was a game. The NBA should be renamed to “National Ball grabbing Assholes” because that pretty much is all that is left in the game. As I was saying earlier, athletes have come from role models to people who could be on the wanted posters in the post office.

The time has come for these athletes to understand that respect is not given because you make a shitload of money. Respect is earned by how you play the game, how you treat the fans, and how you act towards your opponents. There is way too much ego and hatred in the sports world nowadays and everyone that is an athlete that doesn’t understand the above, needs to grow the fuck up.

As far as the USC/Clemson game goes, anyone in the media who says that this was an imitation of the Artest situation is a complete fucking moron. Thank you and I have spoken.

Welcome to the Journal. First I would like to say congrats are in order. To everyone who voted W to win, nice work. You just fucked our country for the next four years. Hey, I’m not bitter. I hope our president doesn’t blow it like he did last term.

Speaking about presidents, Yasser Arafat died. How do you feel about it? I can tell you that I think here is a man who put his interests first and disguised that by saying he cared about Palestinians. This man helped bring terrorism to the world. I believe with him out of the way, we can hopefully see an end to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Scott Petersen is GUILTY!!!!! Yea!!!!!! Fuck that wife killing, baby killing bitch. I can’t believe Mark Geragos was nowhere to be found. He has a shitty track record lately. Lost this case, fired by Michael Jackson, hell if we get lucky maybe a bus will hit him. One last liar we need to worry about.

So 20/20 did a special about a man who stole money from charities to pay off celebrities who attend charity events. He fessed up and said he paid Gerald Ford $200,000 to accept a vase for an award. What a loser. Maybe if 20/20 wants to really turn up the volume, they can do a story on why John Stozel sucks ass. This guy is such a nerd. I don’t like. I like the way his mustache twitches when he thinks he has some worthwhile to say.

How bout them Bears? Two wins in a row. Let’s hope they can beat Tennessee this week.

So it is looking more and more like Mag’s time with the Sox is gone. Cub fans everywhere are calling for him to join the Cubs. That’s nice you morons. You already have one ambulance case in Nomar, I am sure one more will help your chances of blowing another wildcard race. Chris Chelios is going to the Wolves. Right on.

Back to the Cubs, what a disgraceful organization. First they blow the wild card after the legion of Cub fans said to us Sox fans, “your asses will be watching us in the playoffs.” Then, Sammy Sosa doesn’t even want to play in the last game. Then, Steve Stone is most likely forced to resign, then to top it all off, a hand grenade is found in Wrigley. Face it, the Cubs suck, their management sucks. I am now recruiting all the Cub fans to come down to the Southside. Better yet, keep your goat loving asses up north. We don’t swing that way.

And finally, get ready for a crazy Christmas show. See you on the 27th in Schaumburger.

MJ

Oct. 31, 2004

Welcome to the Journal, we have all sorts of bullshit to talk about.

Congrats to Howard Stern for calling out FCC chairman Michael Powell. I guess any type of publicity Mr. Stern can get before he makes the jump is worth it. I admire that kind of shit though. Even though the fossil of radio is trying new tricks, I still stand by my latest remarks. I don’t see Stern innovative on satellite. Although he was compelling in the past, now he is going through the motions.

Special message to anyone under the age of 65 that is not working in the healthcare field, STOP BITCHING ABOUT THE FLU SHOTS. Look, many of us went years without the shots. That is why we have Tylenol Flu. That is why we have medicine. We fight the flu the best we can. The shot should have never been made as a convenience factor for people who don’t need it. Once again proving we have gone from a hard working nation, to a shitload of slackers looking for an easier way of doing things. Stop being a bunch of pussies. If you get sick, deal with it. If it is serious, see a doctor. We are supposed to be a nation of bad asses so let’s act like it.

According to the New York Times, Ossama Bin Laden has just released a tape saying that the next attack depends on what policy is put in place for America’s treatment of Muslims. Well, damn it, someone better sign Cat Stevens, excuse me, Yousif Muslim’s next album soon.

While we are on the subject, John Kerry used this as a chance to attack Bush again. Saying we wouldn’t see this tape if Bush did the job himself and not outsource the campaign to Afghan Warlords. Well, I ask Mr. Kerry, what was GW to do? See if one of the countries in the “Coalition of the willing” would do it? Furthermore, the job was not out sourced to the Warlords. The Warlords have been fighting a civil war with the Taliban in that country for many years before Bush invaded. Why ruin a good thing, right? Don’t worry I have problems with Bush still. During the debate, he was talking about the success of “No Child Left Behind” which if anyone who is paying attention knows was a complete failure. I think he was confused with the “All Americans Left Behind” act. Yeah, you know the one about him leaving all the Americans in Iraq, and America to wonder what to do when he was reading “My Pet Goat” for about seven minutes.

May I say I have a huge problem with Kerry killing geese to prove how manly he is. If he wants to kill something, perhaps he should kill his campaign and let Edwards take the charge. Jesus, these are the two idiots picked for an election?

Speaking about idiots, on a double DVD soon to be released, we will see Paris Hilton being fucked sideways, front ways, backwards; you name it, it happens. In the beginning, we see Rick Soloman saying that this DVD is dedicated to all the victims of the 9/11 attacks. You know Rickie, I think a lot of people are going to wish you were in one of those buildings after that.

So Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thorton are going to get back together. That’s nice. I guess you can only hope he doesn’t have viagra and she is on the pill. Their children will put Jerry’s kids on the honor roll. After all, what are they going to name a boy, Charlie Ray?

Mark Cuban’s show the Benefactor needed an Extreme Makeover. I mean the whole idea was Lost, and it didn’t follow the eight simple rules. According to Jim and Rodney, the show is definitely Less Than Perfect. I guess he should have a little more Hope and Faith that the idiots on the show didn’t look like Complete Savages. Perhaps if he went on The Bachelor and Wife Swap he could meet some Desperate Housewives, and find his Wife and Kids. By the way, NYPD Blue sucks.

Sarah Michelle Gellar is starring in a horror flick called the Grudge. Funny about that title, there are many little nerdy Buffy fans that hate her for canceling out on the show.
And finally, remember its Halloween. So please watch where you drive because you might hit a kid, or if you get lucky an Olsen Twin. Inspect your kids candy because if you are the one who had them, you should get the good shit for giving the bastards life. And remember, lock your doors, you never know when the bogeyman is going to sneak in your house and have sex with your wife.

Happy Halloween.
MJ